The Pudding Diaries or Soft-Serve Recovery

Well, hello there! It’s been far too long and I have all kinds of pointless stuff I’m dying to talk about. Let’s hope this makes sense.

I had dental surgery three days ago. It was painful and just the beginning of a long road. Currently, I look like a shoe-in for landing a gig as either a soloist in a local jugband or a backup dancer for Deliverance! The Musical. I will not be sharing photos of my yanked teeth or any more details however. I recently had a Facebook friend who documented every gnarly moment of his foot surgery through a SERIES of videos which included wound management and bandage changes. Gross. I check Facebook to see who from high school turned out to be crazy or to see what old crackhead friends are up to, not to see the insides of someone’s foot. Suffice it to say, old teeth are gone and new ones are in the mail, metaphorically speaking of course.

In the meantime, I’ve leaned into this whole recovering thing. I’m catching up on my backlogged Hulu (The Voice! Revenge! House Hunters International!). I’m finally sleeping without intense tooth pain. And I’ve been enjoying my strict diet of soft foods like mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs and lots of pudding. The stars lined up for me to take several days off and I’m following directions. Well, for the most part.

I got a Vicodin prescription for the pain and I didn’t  use it. Not because I’m trying to be some sober bad ass but because I figured I’d try to handle with Ibuprofen first. So far that’s been working. The pain, they warned, would get worse the more I healed. And lordy they were right. I feel like someone punched me in the face while I was sleeping. But I’m going to make do until I feel compelled to do otherwise. The reality TV and lots of pudding prescription followed by an Advil chaser is working just fine. Besides, I’ve checked out more than once on Vicodin and used it recreationally more times than I can count. (I mean if you can remember how many times you’ve used prescription drugs recreationally, than clearly you’re doing it wrong.) So this feels the like easier, softer way for sure. My parents have been amazing. Bless their hearts. Being the parents of an HIV-positive person is challenging on a regular Tuesday let alone when there’s a medical emergency. Yeah they know I’ll be fine and that people don’t die from the condition I have but they’re still my parents and they worry. I’ve been calling and giving them updates and it seems to comfort them. And oddly enough it makes me feel better too. Our close relationship and love for one another is truly a gift of sobriety. I’m lucky beyond words.

Annoyingly, there is no dental magic wand that makes all the pain go away while giving me a supermodel smile in under 4 minutes (trust me. I asked.) So like recovery from drugs and alcohol, it’s all one day at a time. When talking to my mom, I said all of this was good because I wanted to handle my teeth before I turned 40. I just should have been more specific when I manifested that requested. Oops. The big thing is, I’m being gentle on myself and giving myself a break and enjoying the pudding diet while I can. It’ll be back to deadlines and brussel sprouts before I know it.

10 thoughts on “The Pudding Diaries or Soft-Serve Recovery

  1. I’m glad to hear you opted for not taking the Vicodin! Here’s just a suggestion: give the script to your sponsor, or other person you trust. And if you have to fill it, have someone you trust dole it out to you so that you don’t over do it on them.

    • Good suggestion. Being POZ and sober I have these kind of drug delimnas all the time. So my sponsor and I have been down this road before and then some! Including a doctor who literally tried to push me into medical marijuana use. Unbelievable. Anyway, thanks for popping by and following!

  2. I hate the tooth doctors, well not the actual doctors just the horrific pain that comes for sitting in their well lit, high tech dungeons! I am eternally grateful you refrained from sharing intimate details of your surgery / recovery, nothing good come have come from that! Well done you, for handling your angry teggies, maybe we will see a picture of you modelling your new pearly whites?!

    BTW, I am loving ‘Revenge’, I hang out for each new episode 🙂

    • Thanks! Once I’m all sparkly smile,you bet I’ll post a picture! And I didn’t see “that” twist coming on Revenge! Wow. getting caught up on that show has been an entertaining way to spend recovery indeed. So juicy!

  3. Congrats on taking care of bizness wif yo mouf. During my drunkenness I used to go to Mexico for dental work to save money, but after calculating the cost of the hookers, farmacia purchases, bar tab, and pay-offs to the cops, I saw no savings at all. Glad you’re back in the writing saddle again, and the discomfort is easing.. Your fan, Marius

    • Marius! That is so funny. As a former LA citizen, I used to make the Mexico run for all kinds of batshit ideas. Guess it’s a right of passage as a drunk and SoCal resident.

  4. I had the same worry when given a prescription for something after hernia surgery. I never filled it. I had a sober streak of almost five years at that point (eventually broken) and didn’t want to risk getting addicted to pain killers. Now sober again and never touched the pills.

    I’m grateful for your strength in resisting, too.

    • Right? It’s too risky for me. I lost my opiate privileges (along with my just one glass of wine privilege and the “it’s just a couple of beers” privileges) years ago so unless it’s serious I get by on over-the-counter. And of course I would have loved to check out during this ordeal and just been high through the whole thing. But that’s not my life anymore. And this version is so much better.

  5. Give the script to a sponsor!!!! Brilliant!

    Way to handle this. My hat(s), I LOVE hats, Off to you!

    Docs: what a nightmare. I have PTSD and ended up needing meds. I started with “Oh hey by the way I am a drug addict so no benzos OK?”

    “sure thing” says the doc…

    Being in a PTSD spin out I did NOT check and just popped the pills: yep. Benzos.

    Good lord. I of course Took Right To Them. Man. It is tough being REally good at taking drugs.

    I was EXTRA cautious after a hip replacement 8 months ago. I walked out of the hospital with 90 vicodin with 8 refills! Again after telling the doc “Hey Drug Addict here”

    I feel like I am in the desert being tempted by demons.

    Maybe I am…..

    Thank HP for my voice and a loving husband who will yank those suckers right outta my hands.

    Hang in

    Peace, Jen

    • Right?!? It’s crazy how th first response is “push drugs, ask questions later.” I had to get sassy with a doc in LA who was trying to shove a painkiller script on me after a cyst removal. Finally, I was like “I’m a fucking addict so I’ll stick to Tylenol.” That shut her up. Anywhoo, thanks for the well wishes and love. You’re the bomb. – S.

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