burning questions

My creativity  cup hasn’t exactly runneth over today. Mainly, because I feel like I myself have been runnethed over. A wacky medical treatment  yesterday to combat pneumonia(which I don’t have, thankfully) involved me sitting in a metal box and sucking on a plastic tube. Yes, this was at the hospital and no, I haven’t started smoking crack. Anyway, this treatment made me even more tired and sluggish which I didn’t think was human possibly. Any more ‘help’ like this and I’ll turn into Wilfred Brimley. Nevertheless, I promised to write everyday at this here blog for June so here goes. Here’s my list of burning questions for June 18th and I promise I’ll write something more substantial. ?????????????????????????????????

*If I taped $20 dollars to my cats’ neck, told her where the grocery store is, do you think she’d bring me back a pie? I mean, its the least she could do.

*Why do celebrities like Britney Spears and Amanda Bynes shave their heads when they go crazy? I mean I shave my head and I’m totally.. ooh. I think I just answered that one on my own.

*What ever happened to passing notes? Sure kids just text but what about “Mark the box Yes or No if you like me” notes? Those are staple of building low self-esteem in middle schoolers and I hope it hasn’t died off.

*What is a LeBron and why do people keep tweeting about it?

*Am I the only one who likes saying the word ‘Fallujah’?

*Can diet soda really be more addictive than meth? I read an article that said it was. Clearly written by people who either never really used  meth or who are buying a different brand of diet soda than I am.

*Did we ever figure out who’s zooming who?

*Why do people post their diets on Facebook? It’s fucking weird. Yeah I blog about being a drunken drug addict but that’s different. It’s not like I’m assuming people want to know what I had for breakfast. (Granola, by the way.)

*Finally, Grown Ups 2? Why, God, why?

Please feel free to leave your answers on these important matters, along with burning questions of your own in the comments section below. We here at UrTheInspiration aim to tackle life’s toughest issues.