burning questions

My creativity  cup hasn’t exactly runneth over today. Mainly, because I feel like I myself have been runnethed over. A wacky medical treatment  yesterday to combat pneumonia(which I don’t have, thankfully) involved me sitting in a metal box and sucking on a plastic tube. Yes, this was at the hospital and no, I haven’t started smoking crack. Anyway, this treatment made me even more tired and sluggish which I didn’t think was human possibly. Any more ‘help’ like this and I’ll turn into Wilfred Brimley. Nevertheless, I promised to write everyday at this here blog for June so here goes. Here’s my list of burning questions for June 18th and I promise I’ll write something more substantial. ?????????????????????????????????

*If I taped $20 dollars to my cats’ neck, told her where the grocery store is, do you think she’d bring me back a pie? I mean, its the least she could do.

*Why do celebrities like Britney Spears and Amanda Bynes shave their heads when they go crazy? I mean I shave my head and I’m totally.. ooh. I think I just answered that one on my own.

*What ever happened to passing notes? Sure kids just text but what about “Mark the box Yes or No if you like me” notes? Those are staple of building low self-esteem in middle schoolers and I hope it hasn’t died off.

*What is a LeBron and why do people keep tweeting about it?

*Am I the only one who likes saying the word ‘Fallujah’?

*Can diet soda really be more addictive than meth? I read an article that said it was. Clearly written by people who either never really used  meth or who are buying a different brand of diet soda than I am.

*Did we ever figure out who’s zooming who?

*Why do people post their diets on Facebook? It’s fucking weird. Yeah I blog about being a drunken drug addict but that’s different. It’s not like I’m assuming people want to know what I had for breakfast. (Granola, by the way.)

*Finally, Grown Ups 2? Why, God, why?

Please feel free to leave your answers on these important matters, along with burning questions of your own in the comments section below. We here at UrTheInspiration aim to tackle life’s toughest issues. 

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3 thoughts on “burning questions

  1. 1 – if dead mouse pie or Little Debbies count, yes
    2 – because there is no room left for a new tattoo that says “I am #$%& crazy” or “I don’t like grooming hair”
    3 – passing notes is not happening anymore because we take their phones away when they come into the classroom, but they still laugh at and hit each other, so don’t worry
    4 – french pastry, don’t know why
    5 – yes, if you mean as an interjection. as a city in iraqi province of al anbar, no.
    6 – who cares? no one ever started a diet soda lab in anyone’s neighborhood
    7 – trick question. pass
    8 – because we need to learn from each other how to eat and what food actually is (nourishment. period.), as part of the brainwashing-reversal process
    9 – this is one of those sacred mysteries of life, a zen puzzle, where the question is more valuable than the movie itself

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