Tebow, the “God Thing”, & Why None of it is Any of My Business

As I vaguely mentioned in the last post, football doesn’t interest me. Like at all. The horror. In a big football town like Denver, that’s like saying “I don’t like breathing.” Seriously, having been gone from here for the last fifteen years and living in a town without pity or an NFL Team, I had forgotten how bat-spit crazy football fans are. Bronco fans in particular are an enthusiastic breed of their own. Once upon a time,  this kind sport worshipping drove me nuts. But for some reason, it doesn’t anymore. And neither does thanking God after a touchdown.

Before I got sober, what people believed  in and worshipped really got under my skin. I would often grumble about how  those with religious beliefs were sheep and that how could people believe in God when so many had died in his name? Oh and I loved to play the “most religions discriminate against gays” card. But regardless of whether or not any of this is true, the fact of the matter was that the bigot in this picture was me. I outwardly mocked and looked down upon people with spiritual lives and frequently I hid behind the guise of “it’s because I grew up Catholic.”  I was too cool for God and really that was too bad. Deep down inside, underneath that thick and shiny cynical veneer lived a person who needed something to believe in. My alcoholism and drug use took me to a deep, shameful place that lead me to believe that nothing larger was at work in my life. That only small, crumpled up, self-destructive me could get myself out of the messes I was in. Naturally, it seemed hopeless.

I never had the lightening bolt God moment nor did I convert to a religion when I got sober. I just did what the Big Book suggested and slowly my own spiritual life developed. The fact that I never died under the influence or that my family didn’t abandon me during my time of need were evidence that something was at work. As I went to meetings in Santa Monica, I felt warm ocean breezes and knew those were things I couldn’t manufacture so that must be a higher power at work too. After a while, those breezes showed up when I really needed them. When it was too hot or when I was crying at a bus stop or when all I wanted to do is get wasted or just feeling alone.  Sounds goofy right? But my relationship with a higher power is my own, silly, serious or otherwise.

And Tebow’s is his. Now I’m not sure God cares too much about football or if rappers thank him at the Grammy’s but in the end it’s none of my business. During the first two years of my sobriety, I studied a lot of meditation and learned to cultivate my own version of prayer and talking to a higher power. So what if someone else just happens to do that on national television or if they choose to worship aliens or have 12 wives? These things no longer concern me. In fact, they never did.  And that  such a spiritual change could occur in a hater, judgmental cynic like myself could get to a place of respect and understanding for the beliefs of others is truly proof of some kind of miracle for sure.

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7 thoughts on “Tebow, the “God Thing”, & Why None of it is Any of My Business

  1. So, you are also a recovering Catholic! I look at pretty much the same way. Religion has always been, in my eyes, man’s cashing in on people’s faith, a way to control the masses. Raised a Christian, I doubt I am like many, believing the ultimate test of a man/woman is to do the right thing, to help others and not judge anyone. I fail miserably at times, but it is always in my mind and heart when a new day begins. And you won’t catch me at church either, an hour a week is not a reprieve for being a jerk all week. So I try to live those spiritual principles. And that seems to work for me pretty damn well!

    • Yeah totally a recovering Catholic. But not a resentful one. Or anymore at least. They have pretty churches and some crazy mythological-type of imagery and I appreciate those things. I love that you said “an hour a week is not a reprieve for being a jerk all week”. Funny and I totally agree. I run the risk of being a jerk like daily so mediation and meetings are kind of a must on a regular basis.

  2. Me too. Recovering well not so much. I do Buddhist meditation, am a vegetarian thanks to Hinduism and Know what cycle the moon is in AND I still sneak into mass. I can’t kick the habit. (get it? HABIT? as in singing nun etc….)

    Tebow: It is not for me to judge but I hope to the Goddess he is for real. He is inspiring even though Focus on the Family is a very dangerous organization in my opinion.

    I love the Broncos because my Dad did. Its a ‘connect with the dead father thing’ and it seems to work for me.

    Higher Power was a rough sell for me. Wait. no. not so much that; TURNING things over to HP! Now that was a rough sell and thank HP for teaching me how to.

    (am I now? can you tell? I wish there was an IPhone App: TurnItOverToHP that could feel my spiritual pulse for me. I could use that. I would even pay $2.99 for that App.)

    I love your blog. I am happy here and I need to think at the same time! Woo Hoo!

    Peace, Jen
    on my knees … praying that is…

  3. Jen, I am so with you on the “turning it over” thing. I couldn’t figure out what the !@#$ people were talking about when they said that in meetings. It was only until I was doubled over in emotional pain that I finally gave the whole thing a shot and it delivered like Domino’s! After my diagnosis, I became a master at turning it over because I literally did not know what else to do. But I definitely could have used your iPhone app idea. Too bad I’m not a tech person or I’d say we develop that app and sell it!
    And I’m happy you’re here too. The thought provoking exchange I’ve gotten from other bloggers like yourself has been far beyond my wildest expectations. See, Congress thee is intelligent life on the Internet!

    hearts,

    Sean

  4. What an awesome post. I had to fb share it. And tweet it, which I don’t do much. Love your writing so much, and I relate to so much of what you say. I went through period of cynicism about my own faith and wanting to disown Xns in particular, because so much of what they said or did publically embarrassed me. I still wish there was a different word for it–but I’ve also quit worry so much that I’ll be misunderstood. Thanks for getting me and letting me get you. Love it. Heather

    • Thanks so much Heather for sharing and for sharing my post 🙂 Yeah it’s a weird thing. I have family members who are members of a controversial religion (one that also attracts celebrities and was created by a science fiction writer) and I always looked down on them. But in reality they are some of the most well adjusted and successful members of my family so who was I to talk smack if it was working for them? Besides they never tried to convert me so what should I care? My first sponsor pointed out that what anybody else beleved was none of my effing business and that I needed to “keep my eyes on my paper.” It was good advice and something I still try to follow today. Try being the operative word as 20 some odd years of being judgmental doesn’t evaporate overnight.

  5. It’s ironic how our thinking changes when clarity abounds. That might be why God of the Bible speaks about taking good care of our bodies. You’re right on about God caring about football. He doesn’t. But, he does care about getting the glory.

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