Like a typical junkie, I tend to overdue everything. Over the last month, I chomped down cookies, cupcakes, brownies, pie and candy like I was Pac-man nibbling my way around a maze filled with desserts. And as with my other vices, sugar makes me feel good but it doesn’t last forever and soon I’m hungover, lathargic and feeling worthless. So The Mister and I decided after the holidays, we’d take a sugar sabatacle.
After getting sober from drugs and alcohol, I know that kicking a habit takes willingness and honesty. I had to ask myself, am I honestly willing to say goodbye to sugar and all it’s lovely bi-products and to try to stay sugar-free one day at a time? My answer was uh, for now. Having relapsed and not following through on everything from cocaine to The Artist’s Way, I’m realistic about ending my romance with sugar. I know that I’m going to want gelato or a brownie at some point and I am not going to kick the crap out of myself for it. Besides, a bag of Oreos never made me take off my clothes in random places. I’m mainly looking to balance my relationship with sugar and feel better in the process. I take it moment by moment and so far it’s been good. The husband and I are eating more veggies, not going out to eat and have exorcised the sugar demons from our apartment. There’s lots of kale, legumes and beets in this house which means all kinds of crazy things are happening with my body so that’s exciting. Plus, without sugar I’m having crazy, vivid dreams and sleeping more soundly. We’ve also decided we’re trying it for a month and seeing how we feel. He, as always, is wonderfully supportive and will indulge me when I whine about wanting cake and I do the same for him.
Mainly, my experience in recovery has taught me that with a spiritual program and willingness all things are possible. So the sweetness in my life, both figurative and the kind that comes from the kind people at Reese’s, are gifts to enjoy and it’s up to me to do so with both gratitude and boundaries.