The Big Drunk Gay Pink Elephant in the Room

A few days ago I read this story about American Idol runner up Adam Lambert and the drunken kerfuffle he got into with his boyfriend outside of a bar in Finland. The press says punches flew and the two both were detained by police. Lambert says the whole thing is blown out of proportion. Now, regular people who didn’t almost win reality shows get into fights outside of bars all over the world and nobody cares. Sadly, when you’re even sort of famous, word spreads like wildfire. His boyfriend by the way also is sort of famous. He too was on some reality show in Finland. The whole kerfuffle (love that word! but I promise that’ll be the last time I use it. in this blog anyway) got me thinking about  gays and alcohol. It’s this notoriously toxic pairing yet we never want to talk about it.

And why would we? Is there anything less fabulous than being an alcoholic or a drug addict? I recoiled at thought of being an alcoholic for years. I mean ick. I did drugs and drank with creative and amazing people. I wasn’t some hobo and I certainly wasn’t the angry Irish drinkers in my family. And yet towards the end, my day-to-day was an endless loop of misery. Now I’m not saying that Adam Lambert is an alcoholic. The only person I know for sure is one of those is me. But I do think an honest conversation is order about gays and lesbians and their relationships with drugs and alcohol. It’s a conversation sports fans, musicians and several ethnic groups could have too. The misconceptions will run rampant until we get honest about alcoholism. I know mine certainly did. Okay, I’m starting to sound preachy. Let me know how you feel about this. Does talking about alcoholism help inform or is it one of those diseases that society won’t ever understand? And if this blog entry annoyed you, I apologize. At the very least, I hope you enjoyed the sparkly elephants.

7 thoughts on “The Big Drunk Gay Pink Elephant in the Room

    • Thanks! I appreciate your courage to talk about recovery too. It ain’t easy and to pretend like it is doesn’t do anybody any favors. Keep fighting the good fight!

  1. I thought the same thing when I read that article. He seems to have a problem with the drink and the drugs. They seem to cause inordinate damage to him and to others. It kinda seems obvious that he has a problem when drinking causes damages to others around you, not just yourself. Famous … well now he;s become Infamous. And he’s gay, that doesn’t look good for us, we don’t need a role model like that for sure. But only he can say that he has a problem. but we shall see…

    • You’re right. Only time will tell. I know from personal experience that I never got into drunken fights with my boyfriend when everything in my life was okay. But that’s my experience. Bless his heart. On a more random note how the !@#$ do you pronounce his boyfriend’s name-Sauli Koskinen ? Not like I’m gonna call him or anything but I was just wonderin’.

  2. 1. I have made a new vow to read anything entitled “The Big Drunk Gay Pink Elephant In The Room”, or anything close to.

    2. Dude, right?! Is it just me or is the ‘gay scene’ and the ‘club scene’ sort of an interchangeable phrase. During my dating-girls-decade, it seemed that way to me anyway. Do you think it makes being sober harder?

    • Ha ha ha! Yeah gay scene/club scene are totally interchangeable and great places for people like me who hate dealing with reality. I’m not sure if how gays embrace drugs and alcohol makes getting sober harder but it was a a challenge at first. I tried to get sober in ’08 by keeping the same friends and doing the same things and acting like a drinker but not drinking– and I was miserable and it didn’t work. I relapsed five months later. I had to do something different in 09. So I left my friends, stopped hanging out in slippery places and mainly threw myself into AA. But I know some people who can stay married to hard drinkers and keep their party friends and stay sober. I’m too easily swayed so I had to change my scenery altogether.

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